Our ‘don’t look back’ culture shapes expectations of bouncing back quickly after a crisis. Internal Family Systems can help us understand why trying to move on too quickly after adversity can leave us with a shattered sense of self and keep us stuck. While this is a cultural issue, as individuals we can support ourselves by developing a reflective practice and engaging in trauma-informed coaching.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear writes about identity-based habits. Seeing yourself as a reflective person is the first step. Secondly, to keep going with a reflective practice we need to keep barriers of entry low. Don’t set yourself rules around time, mood or energy levels required for worthwhile reflection. Instead: use whatever shows up on the day and let it shape your focus and process of reflection.

The suggestion to cultivate a reflective practice can feel like yet another thing to put on our to-do list, or another technique in self-betterment. It can be seen as indulgent navel-gazing in a world that needs decisive and urgent action. Ultimately, isn’t reflection something else we’ll fail to stick with?